“Stars!” I shouted through the thunder to the appaloosa pacing behind the chain link fence. “Stars! You are always the one getting into trouble! In the middle of a storm trying to find fresh grass!” As I let the chain of the tractor shed down with one hand, I steadied myself against a wooden structure pole with the other. The horse bolted up the pasture, as the finger of God bolted down. That stormy day on my horse ranch in Tennessee, standing in the pouring rain with my arms outstretched, I was struck dead by a bolt of lightning
Not everyone needs to be struck by lightning, or have a miracle happen, to understand God's will for his life. But, that is the method that God used to fix up one of his most broken kids: me.
It was summertime in the South. A time of good green pasture for the horses, ripe tomatoes on the vine, and long drives in the country. Life seemed wonderfully slow for me that gracious summer; as slow as the drone of the honeybees in the apple trees, as slow as the preparations for the upcoming county fair.
For the first time in many years, all four of my children had come together for vacation time, and I knew that it would probably be the last tick of the clock before their lives would get too busy to experience this again. I was making every opportunity to show them a full and adventurous summer. Life had never been so materially good! I was thankful to share the riches of my new life as a new wife. We would swim in the pool, watch movies and ride the go-cart. We would drive the jaguar in the country and go camping and have picnics. We would ride the horses.
I could overlook the growing detachment of my husband and the late night phone calls. I could also ignore the mysterious apathy and disdain my oldest daughter had for me. I could overlook the bill collectors' constant threats and the new expensive toys being brought home that we couldn't afford. I thought I could make it through anything - hadn't I just survived my fourth encounter with possible death? Even the doctors were amazed. The venomous spider bite had tried to shut down my breathing and my heart, but the doctors knew what drugs to pump through me and I had made it through - and this had happened just the previous week!
My husband and I had been married only a year and a half. The marriage counseling would work. He would stop comparing me unfavorably to his “special friend” of seventeen years, telling me about her just two weeks ago; and for me to “just deal with it.” He would stop needing her. He would remember he loved only me. I hoped time would blow away the ominous gray clouds gathering in my personal life. I kept telling myself time would help, and I would adjust again, somehow.
I hoped that if I closed my eyes and wished hard enough, everything bad would just disappear. Hadn't I gone through this enough times? Why did this keep repeating itself? Why did I continue to make bad choices about the mate in my life? One thing I had learned - that I would feel that I didn't deserve this and that God had abandoned me. Then I would usually try to fix things myself. When I would fail, I would then call upon Him, and he would bail me out, change the situation, and slowly mend all the broken parts. But this time, I felt there was no way my life could be fixed. I was broken beyond repair. I felt I had no mission, that my life had no purpose.
I was so tired of starting over. For the first time in my life I felt I had some material advantage, and I did not want that to change - the children enjoyed it so much, and so did I. I chose not to pray about it - I felt I would sacrifice my happiness for the material gain of the children and I. I had messed up my life too much, too many times. There was nothing left for me. I decided I would do what my husband said, and just “deal with it.” I would resign myself to ignoring the problems around me, and just struggle from day to day, with a fake smile and heavy heart. Love between people seemed only a faade for control. I felt already dead; my heart knew no joy. I was without hope, and felt helplessly broken.
Although I refused to see the storm swirling under my own roof, I couldn't ignore the rain and thunderclouds gathering outside over the valley. Strong winds were blowing up the hill over the pasture. The rain was pelting the garden and sounded like marbles dropping on the metal-roofed sheds. I had to go check on the horses. I had to make sure they were safe. That's when I ran out of time. And I would never look at time, and many other things, the same way again. My old life would soon be over; the former anxiety ridden, hopeless person I was, literally died on that summer day
The last thing I remember about the strike itself was doing an uncontrollable electrical “dance” as my muscles contorted this way and that reminiscent of the wild gyrations of John Travolta in Saturday Night Fever! I felt no pain. In that split second, I turned around and tried to push my chest against the corner of the parked truck, knowing that electrical shocks often stop the heart. Then, my eyesight narrowed and I felt my body slowly slide down the bumper onto the wet earth; and all went black
The next thing I knew, I found myself standing on nothing, way up in the universe, and there were distant colorful planets all around me. I could see misty pinpoints of stars through my right arm, and when I moved it back and forth it made the stars look wiggly, like a reflection on water. I felt dizzy. I had a sense of being able to see not only in front of me, but all around me at the same time. Floating just a few feet from me, I saw a man with a spirit body just like mine (no wings), though he was short and had slanted eyes. He spoke to me with a voice that I heard inside my own head, saying: “Don't be afraid, it's ok.”
On the other side of me, another spirit person, this one much taller and with chiseled facial features (again no wings), nodded approvingly at me. All the while, we were moving with great speed toward a great ellipsed ball of spinning light; it was brilliantly white in the middle and yellowish on the outside edges. The closer we got to it, the more I felt overwhelming Love; it seemed so warm and comforting, it encompassed my very beinglike the security of a favorite grandfather's broad arms wrapped around a child as he crawls up onto his lap. How wonderful I felt!
We stopped. The bright light was still far from me. I wanted to go on, I felt like a magnet, irresistibly drawn. The desire to “blend” had grown stronger the closer we got I knew this place was the heavenly throne of God himself!
Why had we stopped? As I stood there confused, yearning toward the Great Almighty beyond my reach, a glowing luminousness appeared in front of me. Gold and white sparkles came together in a glowing spiritual body, a giant image in the shape of a man with broad shoulders. A Divine Presence was here!
A gentle voice called out from this realm of golden sparkles massed brilliantly in front of me “What Have You Learned?” he asked, in a nondiscriminatory and non-accusing way. The voice was so soft and tender, yet the presence of Divine Authority was there; I knew that it was the voice of God's own son, the empowered Jesus Christ.
Then - all of a sudden, life events unfolded before my very eyes! Key moments where I showed anger to people, and also where I had showed love, appeared like scenes out of a movie! I could feel the anger and hurt of the other person whenever I had been mean; and I also felt the anger as it rippled on through to others. I had never before faced the horrid deepness of my own sin. Then, where I showed love to people, I felt that too; and how much further that rippled out from person to person, as a warm pulse triggering cause and effect in all things that were wonderful and blessedI had never before experienced such joy!
Then the presence of Christ said, “The Flesh is the Test of the SpiritLove Each Other.” Words of wisdom imparted to me! I felt overwhelmed with love, and so privileged.
I wanted to stay! I wanted to join myself with God's swirling life force, His Essence, His Heaven, was just beyond the presence of Jesus! But, I wasn't allowed to go any further. I wanted to go to God! I wanted to feel more Love! “Why can't I be with you now Father? Please, God, Please!”
I listened as hard as I could listen, waiting for His Words. Then, just on the outside of my understanding, I faintly heard voices singing the most beautiful melody I had ever heard in my whole life. I knew that these were the blessed voices of angels and those joined with God, and came from His Swirling Brilliant Presence, Heaven.
I knew it was praise for The Father, but I just couldn't make out what the words were saying. I felt so sadI knew I needed to go back to the earth. I knew I had to make a “better movie.” How I wanted to stay! But, there was also a knowing that I did have a choice in this, although the desire to prove my love for God was overwhelming. Yes, I wanted to stay. But, there and then, I vowed to be a vessel to do only His Will, if he could use me. I would go back.
I absolutely gave myself to him. I wanted desperately to show how much I loved him! His Will, not my own, would govern the rest of my life. If he could use this broken piece of clay from the earth, it was all his. I totally dedicated myself and surrendered all desires. Instantly, I felt a child-like sense of wonderment as a warm flood of bliss and peace overpowered me, and a warm tingling sensation filled me, like warm liquid honey flowing from the top of my head down to my very toes! What was happening to me? I did not know. Only later did I find out that this is referred to as the baptism of the Holy Spirit, an anointing more commonly experienced on earth. At that moment I knew that I would spend the rest of my earthly life showing God how much I loved him, by helping his children, whom he loved. They would be shown the true identity of a Powerful Loving God, desiring to be supernaturally active in their lives. I had a mission!
The spirit on my right then talked inside my head again, and answered many questions on my mind. He also taught me details about many wonderful and sacred things. Many of these things I am still trying to integrate and fully understand. It is almost like trying to learn another language without being given the basic alphabet for it. So, at this point, there are deeper things I have told no one, and keep only to myself. Often, when in prayer to the Father I will ask him to further my understanding on these matters, yet I get the distinct feeling that true understanding will be revealed only on a “need to know” basis. There was no need to occupy myself with them right now.
However, for some reason a seed was planted within me; a groundwork had been laid. And I knew that if he wanted me to share this information later on, he would tell me, and give me the reasoning ability to understand it. In fact, many things “I didn't know I knew” end up being in the pages of the books he asks me to write, and what a joy they have turned out to be to love so many people in this way, and to be loved back!
While I floated there before the Christ Consciousness, the very Presence of Jesus, the spirit then told me something that I didn't at all understand: “Welcome to the world of healers,” he said. This was a shock - I had no idea what that meant. I had never believed in such a thing! I had been ordained back in 1979 in a church that believed healing had died out in the first century, and also that NDEs were chemical reactions released in the brain. What could this mean?
At this point the Christ went back into formless sparkles and faded away, and the stars and space behind his glowing features were visible once again. Such effervescent beauty and colors twinkled around me, like being in the midst of a sparkling aurora borealis! So many shapes of heavenly bodies transfixed in the cosmos, all unique and necessary, all untold distances away. Yet they felt so close that it seemed I could reach out and pluck them out of the sky, and carry them home cupped in my hands.
The slant-eyed spirit went on and continued to teach me even more. He pointed out different stars, planets, distant colorful swirling lights of all kinds, and gave names for all of them. He continued to fill me up and give me answers to thousands of questions that I never had questions for! Reams of information seemed to be exploding in my brain, like an empty library suddenly being realized! Details flooded my being about many wonderful and sacred things. I wondered: were these things newly learned, or just somehow remembered? Everything somehow felt familiar, in the Oneness of it all.
The spirit who was speaking to me did not offer his name, and I did not ask. I wanted to be careful to show homage only to the True God and Christ, not to any one else. I then felt myself sinking, as if falling through a bed. I was being pulled back.
With that, I woke up, my husband shaking me by the shoulders. Somehow my physical body was now lying on the front seat of the truck, although I had left it outside in the mud. Since I had left the house to go to the tractor shed, three hours had passed. The storm had gone, but left evidence that at least three other strikes had occurred on the pasture, besides the one that had struck me.
“Welcome to the World of Healers”
At the emergency room I was hooked up with wires and given tests to check my heart. A thorough exam revealed that it had not been damaged. But, my eyes and ears were affected very badly, as was my sense of balance. I felt dizzy, but keenly aware of the reality of my experience. The only piece of jewelry I was wearing was a single diamond earring. A brown burn mark encircled the gold stud where it went through my ear. My skin tingled all over and was extremely sensitive to the touch, especially on my arms and in my hands.
The doctors told me that I had been very lucky; the doctor said that often an arm or leg gets blown off during a strike (was he kidding?). People often die (and don't come back yes, I knew that). They reasoned that because I was holding the chain-link with one hand and the wet wooden pole with the other, the current had passed through me, instead of grounding in my body. I knew they wouldn't believe me if I told them it had been a Divine Strike, that God used this as a wake-up call, and that I had been before the Presence of God ( and oh, by the way, Jesus spoke to me!). They would have kept me a lot longer than they did, and probably in a little white jacket, in a locked padded room to boot!
I spent a few days in bed, oscillating between a wild mixture of extreme happiness and unbelievable sadness. The emotions ran deeper than any I had ever felt. I was glad for the experience, but I had wanted to stay there! I kept re-living the event over and over in my mind, every detail emblazoned into my brain. I was determined that even if I forgot my own name, I would never forget this. I tried painting what I had seen - oil paints on canvas. The colors, no matter how I mixed them, were not brilliant enough. Nothing could capture what I had seen and felt. I felt sad again. Then once more, happy for the experience. Then confused. What did it all mean?
My First Healing Experience a Horse!
After a few days, I was back to my chores, including putting salve on Star's skin infection. For six weeks I had smoothed on the medicine the vet had given me, but still the red blisters kept spreading and killing the hair all around his girth. Now I had run out of medicine, so I just rubbed his belly lightly around the outside of the infection because he had grown used to the attention. I noticed that my hands were getting very hot. I thought it must be bacteria from the infection, and when I washed my hands under cold water it went away. I didn't think anything of it.
The next day, I walked up to rub his belly again - reminding myself to get new salve soon - and noticed that all the blisters had turned white and some were falling off. I once more rubbed around the infection, and my hands turned hot once more. The next day when I went out, all the blisters had fallen off, and there was evidence of new hair growing back. I thought this was mere coincidence.
The next week, I took my cat in to be spayed. The vet said it would take 10 days for the stitches to completely heal. On the first day, she didn't want anything to do with me. But, the second day, she was in my lap as much as possible. She just would not leave me alone - even yowling for me if I left the room! Every time I would rub her and pet her, I found that my hands would heat up again. On the third day, she tried pulling the stitches out with her teeth. On the morning of the fourth day, I decided to look at what was going on, and found that the skin had healed so well that the stitches were puckering her skin up tight. I found myself embarrassed to take her back to the vet - what would he say? So I carefully cut the threads and pulled them out myself, through skin that bore no surgical scar. I began to understand what was happening.
Then, I wondered, will this work on humans? The very next day, I said a prayer to God, laid my hands hot on my forehead, and on various parts of my body. Then, I made an appointment with the doctor. A previous mammogram had shown lumps in my breasts. A former doctor had told me I had fibroid cysts in my uterus, which could only be removed through surgery. Also, I had a torn rotator cuff in my shoulder, which had prevented me from sleeping well for the past six months.
I anxiously awaited the test results: the mammogram showed the lumps were all gone. the diagnostic ultrasound showed clear, the fibroid cysts had disappeared. also, I could sleep at night without any pain; my rotator cuff was healed.
God had blessed me with the gift of healing! This is what he had meant!
Hesitantly, I started sharing this new gift with my friends - and that's when I ran into trouble. I found that I was taking the pain of their ailment onto myself. If they had a migraine, I would get a migraine. If they had stomach pain, I would get stomach pain. That scared me - I found myself afraid to use the gift. Maybe I was using it wrong? Why would God give me a gift that would harm me to use it? I felt I wouldn't last very long in this work. And yet, I knew in my heart that God wouldn't give me something that would be unsafe for me to use. What was I missing?
I thought I might find answers if I watched the healing ministries on TV. For the first time in my life I wondered if they could actually be legitimate. I had never believed in this sort of thing - I had felt it was a fake, showy display to raise money and give people false hope. Now I wanted desperately to talk to one of them. Did they feel sick afterward? Had they each been told, “Welcome to the world of healers?” in some way? Was I part of this same group? What did God want me to understand?
I continued on this way for a time, confused by the gift. I thought maybe I would work only on animals; I did not feel their pain. I imagined myself working for a veterinarian, alone in a back room, quietly healing the animals. I didn't know what to do.
So, I prayed for understanding, and what I found was the Lord's words overflowing back at me. On and on the scriptures popped out of the Bible, the pages randomly falling open to pertinent information, my eyes emblazoned on the scriptures he wanted me to see. They popped out as brightly as if a yellow marker pen highlighted them! Dozens of scriptures!
“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” (Jer. 29:11)
“You are the light of the world. A city on a hill cannot be hidden. Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before men, that they may see your good deeds and praise your Father in heaven.” (Mt. 5:14)
“…fan into flame the gift of God, which is in you through the laying on of my hands. For God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, of love and of self-discipline.” (2 Tim. 1:6)
Through his Word he kept reminding me that when the Lord gives his people a commission or Divine gift, he does not do it without a specific purpose. So many times I had been absolutely shattered, yet he had still held me gently in the palm of his hands. There had also been many times we had walked together hand-in-hand, and many times I had turned away from him, hid my face in shame, and withdrew my hand from his. Yet, his arm was still outstretched, and he still loved meI was astonished. Everything I had done and He Still Loved Me! Unbelievable! And now, he gave me a real purpose, along with a job where I would be working in direct communion with him everyday. He wasn't tired of me yet! I would also be making friends and helping people from all walks of life, social standing, color and religious background. I would get to be there when he went to work. I would get to see the miracles as he reached out to tell his children he is real and cares about them, manifesting reality out of the invisible.
So why the lightning strike and near-death experience? I truly feel he had gone through all this trouble to let me know my life's path. I had been so stubborn and resistant, having “blinders” on and putting “God in a box,” that only an empirical, first-hand experience would open me up to my true created nature. I had a purpose now, and I did not have to suffer in silence or ignore my plight. I could be strong again, because his strength was in me. Everything was made anew! By Free Will I had died to self at the foot of heaven and upon the earth - and he had resurrected me up again. I was a new person. He opened me up! I vowed I would never allow myself to be closed down again!
I asked to be as giving as the wind, that I would go wherever he led me. “The wind blows wherever it pleases. You hear its sound, but you cannot tell where it comes from or where it is going. So it is with everyone born of the Spirit.” (John 3:8)
Reiki Healing in the God-Spot
One day, a trusted friend invited me to a Reiki (“ray'key”) Open House near my home in Nashville, Tennessee. She said there were other people with the gift there, and people were being healed. I cautiously went with her. I found people praying and laughing, and the laying-on-of hands. Their hands were hot like mine; and the people they were attending had come from the community, mostly the poor and the curious. Twice a month they would gather here in this upper room and invite any who wanted to come. I watched them, and it made me wonder. I felt comforted that there was a large painting of Jesus hanging predominately on the wall. On the desk was information about this Japanese technique, and I thumbed through it. There was a picture of a man, a Christian minister, Dr. Usui, who had given Japanese hands-on-healing this name of Reiki in the early 1800's, although it had been known for hundreds of years before. He had started many healing clinics in Japan. I looked at the picture and gasped - I knew this man!
This was the spirit with slant-eyes and rounded belly that was beside me during my near-death experience! The very same man! My Goodness! God works in very, very mysterious ways!
With this, I knew what my next step was; and I went through the training classes of Usui Reiki, eventually receiving what is called the Reiki Master Degree. The pain I had been feeling was gone. Now, I felt energized and euphoric after the healings! I was not taking upon myself the other person's pain anymore. I believe the pain was merely a catalyst to keep seeking answers, and to lead me to my next step. So, now I was using the “Gifts of the Spirit” offering “Healing Prayer” and “Divine Healing” under the title of “Reiki Practitioner.” But why had God led me up this path, one that I had never heard of before? Why was this strange name added to the calling of my mission?
I have given much thought and prayer to this question. And this is what I have been given as the answer. And since he continues to use this vessel for even more powerful works, I know his blessing has been upon it. I have learned not to judge where his Spirit places my foot, that wherever I am he places an angel to protect and shield me with a flaming sword of Unconditional Love.
Reiki is recognized by the American Medical Association as a Complementary Alternative Medicine. It is used in many hospitals by trained nurses and doctors as a complement to normal health care needs. It has consistent and measurable results. There are more and more studies (including double-blind studies by NIH) and more research is being conducted. This form of hands-on-healing is easily accessible, and more and more accepted by the public. In this way, I have an opportunity to work with people of all religions and faiths, and people without faith, and God still touches them with an empirical experience. Not all Reiki practitioners use prayer with their healings, though; so the kind of healing that I am facilitated for is could be more accurately described as “Divine Healing,” which is hands-on-healing combined with healing prayer. Adding prayer and recognizing Source is what makes the miracles happen.
I have found that a person does not need to be struck by lightning or have a NDE to have healing hands. There are many people who are drawn to become healers; and by asking, The Big Guy often gives this opportunity to them as a free gift, and tests them out with it to see how they respond to it. Doors will open, or close, from there. Are they working for ego, or giving the credit to the One True Healer?
Now, my entire life is an adventure and an aware spirit journey! I get to see cancer disappear, brain tumors shrink and go away, blind eyes see and deaf ears hear. I get to be there when the arthritis melts away and chronic disease abates. I get to be there to see the addictions leave without side-effects, and I get to help bring peace, calmness and painlessness to those transitioning in death. I meet people from all over the world, and get to be there everyday when incredible things happen, and form friendships that are deep and loving. Along the way, this wider connection with God has led to other interventions of Spirit, such as miraculous long-distance healings, medical intuitiveness, locating missing children, visions and prophecies, and even helping the FBI on 9-11. Through this Oneness Connection, nothing is impossible! I praise God continually as I enjoy every day, every moment, and every experience I have! I am always amazed how he brings his kids together, to learn to love one another and help each other. It totally humbles me to be involved in this kind of work.
The point that I want you to remember from my experience is this: you don't have to be struck by lightning or have a near-death experience to open up, change your life, appreciate each other, or to have a special connection with God. Love is the key to everything. Remember, the life-review you have will be about the love you showed, or didn't show! It's all about love!
“But I tell you that men will have to give account on the Day of Judgment for every careless word they have spoken. For by your words you will be acquitted, and by your words you will be condemned.” (Mt. 12:36,37)
When I was before the Ultimate, I wished only to love and be responsible to him. But what he wanted was for me to be responsible and love everyone else. So, we prove our love by loving everybody else!
My brokenness led me to a mending of the very highest kind, and everything in my life has changed, in alignment to fulfilling that purpose. I feel blissful now, every night and every day, knowing I am doing exactly what I should be doing. I am blessed to be working in several locations in southern California as a full-time healer, and being flown around the world for healings and conventions. Even when I didn't know what to ask for, in my most broken of times, The Big Guy gave me my life's work. And I am happier that I have ever been before! Whatever periods of brokenness in my life I had to go through, whatever lessons I needed to learn to get to this place in my spiritual journey, I can release and be glad for! Now, I am making a better “movie” for when I come before the Presence again, and I'm sharing the gifts our Father freely gives us. I am thankful everyday that when I was stubborn and striking out, He stepped in and struck me down! Truly, the best thing that happened in my life was almost losing it. Being dead healed my life; and now it heals others.
Tiffany Snow, D.D., M.Th. is the author of two books and many articles, and has appeared on radio and TV, including a TV documentary on NDEs. She is Medical Intuitive, a Licensed CE Provider for the California Board of Registered Nursing, a Usui Reiki Master Practitioner, a lecturer and a healing facilitator. For more information, please visit Tiffany on the web at www.TiffanySnow.com.